Dr. Jeckyll vs. Mrs. Hyde. Who are you?
A super nice woman can get away with just about anything. But what if you know that you are not a super nice woman – say, only 50% nice and 50% that you need to work on? If you really want to survive in a relationship, you cannot be 50% nice and broke. It’s just not going to work, honey. However, you can be 100% nice and broke! If you are just that nice and sweet, a man will go to bat for you. He would work 48 hours in a 24 hour day if that were possible. When you are nice you are supportive, you are sweet, a joy to come home to. You presence is a blessing. You don’t complain. The children are happy, fed, and smiling. You are just a pleasure to be around. However, on the other hand, if you are only nice 50% of the time, you’re the type of woman who needs to get a job in order to contribute to the relationship. To be honest with you, a man may love you, but it will be from a distance! Separation helps make bearing the pain of dealing with you a little easier. Why do you think men need to get away to go watch football, basketball, or baseball for hours without you? We simply don’t want to see you all the time. Take your nasty attitude to work, and we’ll hope that the nice part of you comes home in the evening. Then we might turn off the TV.
Contrary to what you may think, no man in his right mind wants to be with a woman with an unreceptive attitude and negative spirit. You can have a banging body, you can be as beautiful as Beyonce, but if your personality is not pleasant, you are an empty shell. Eventually, all of that nastiness will come shining through. How long will your acting job last – one month? Six months, or even a year? At that point, a man will not be swayed by your looks, and the cold hard reality will be staring you in the face. That’s why if you’re not really a nice person you must have compensating factors to hold you over until you can improve your inner spirit.
Let’s be realistic: if you’re not nice, you have to have a job. Consequently, you will be gone at least eight hours a day. After your drive home in traffic, depending on where you live (let’s just say Los Angeles for this scenario), that could be another two hours to and from work, which now equals 10 hours out of a 24 hour day. You have 14 hours left. If you have kids, add another two hours for preparation and school pick up and drop off. So we are realistically only left with 12 hours. Hopefully you will sleep eight hours minimum (girl, you need to get that eight-plus hours of sleep to get those demons out of you!). That leaves us with only four hours. Hopefully you will watch your favorite TV show… perhaps Scandal. That’s another hour. But now we’re down to three hours remaining in this day and you have not even interacted with your Boo! Hopefully you cook dinner for you and your Boo and the kids, though, which leaves only two hours. Then you have to factor in him watching his favorite sports teams, which will take at a minimum an hour.
So, realistically, you only have about two hours to spend together. Just about any couple could manage two hours together. A man can deal with a woman with an attitude for two hours, but not all day. If you’re not nice, you’re simply not a joy to be around.
If at this point you’re thinking to yourself, wait, I don’t want to end up like that, you might be interested in what you could do to prevent such a disastrous outcome.
First, be realistic with yourself. Don’t act like you’re the nicest person in the world when you know for a fact you are not. Spend more time improving yourself and your attitude. Read books and articles as such that help you understand the importance of being the best human being you can be. Develop a closer spiritual relationship with the Creator or whatever spirit source moves you to becoming a better you. And remember that the thing you’re thinking about him is the same thing he is thinking about you: “Oh gosh, I gotta go home to her,” and “Oh gosh, I gotta go home to him.” If you’re not nice, he’s not looking forward to coming home to you. Don’t let the women at his job know you’re a straight B-word; then you and your relationship will be in double jeopardy.
“Oh Bobby, I know your girl at home is, let’s say, very difficult to deal with, and she gives you stress on a daily basis. Do you want to go this sports bar to watch the game before you head home?
Bobby’s gonna say, “Suzy, that’s a great idea.”
So you know what happens after that. He gets home 30 minutes before bedtime if at all and takes a shower, kisses the kids and gets in the bed, and you’ve just witness the beginning of the end of your relationship. That’s reality right there! And you are asking why men cheat (Understanding the Big 9 Reasons Men Cheat on Beautiful Women)? Hmmm, it might have a little something to do with not wanting to be around you.
All we’re saying is if you are nice, then a man wants to come home to you and spend time with you. Whatever you want, the sky is the limit when you are a truly nice person. If you really want a man to love you, then you should invest more time in becoming a nicer person, not in shopping or buying shoes, or else he is naturally going to be attracted to someone else who appreciates him as an outlet away from you. If you’re ungrateful, unappreciative, always complaining, never happy with yourself or anyone, who in their right mind would want to be in a relationship with you? Negative thinking and negative comments will only lead you to negative results. Who wants to be around that type of woman? A man can find that type of woman all day every day. But what a man cannot find is a woman that is kind, unselfish, and giving, no questions asked (Proverbs 31).
It amazes me how a woman who wants to be loved by the Man of Her Dreams can act in the exact opposite way she should. If you tell a man you hate him but you really want him to love you, well, that psychology makes no sense. If you never tell him that you love him or appreciate him but expect the man to love and appreciate you, that psychology makes no sense. Always comparing your actions to his, tit for tat? That makes no sense when you desire the opposite results. Instead of bringing him closer you are pushing him away. “I have got to go, see you later”.
If you want to be loved, you have to give and be the example of the love you want (Women Have the Power to Help Men Become Better). You have to be nice. I know a lot of you ladies invest in clothing and shoes to enhance your exterior beauty. But, I must tell you that it is interior beauty that wins a man’s heart. That’s what will make him come home to you. Exterior beauty is temporary. Always remember the less nice of a person you are, the more compensating factors you will need to offer just so he can bear the pain of dealing with you. And those compensating factors? They’re not a relationship in themselves, so don’t be surprised if a few years down the line, you’re lying in a cold bed.