First of all, what do YOU think the secret to remaining beautiful in the eyes of the Man of Your Dreams (MOYD) is? Do you know? Before you continue reading, ponder this very important question a few minutes, write your answers down, and get ready to share your opinion at the end of the article.
Yoshi, mid 30’s: Being cool, laid back, and drama free! No man wants a nag or someone who’s always negative or starting fights. [We think this is a great answer!]
Francesca, 30 years on the planet and still learning: Keep a layer of mystery. Keep him guessing. There is a saying in Italy that my mother always reminds me of – “Your man should not even know how much you eat.”
Dani, 30 years on the planet: Confidence, balance, and perception.
Chantal, 40+ years on the planet: Always remain faithful, support him, be his best friend. Love him unconditionally and stay sexy, no matter if you gain a bit of weight.
Sonja 40+ years on the planet: Being authentic…truly yourself
Pam 40 + years: Depends on the man. Men are so different, I really don’t know. For sure keeping your appearance together. [Forty years on the planet and she doesn’t know — honest answer!]
Ms. Sweetbuttascotch, 40 + years on the planet: God, Spirit, sense of humor, always take care of your body, funny, keep your mouth shut sometime, loving, caring and always have his back if he is down or lost his job… [Ms. Sweetbuttascotch’s response may sound a bit comical, but she is keeping it real and has shared some great advice. Men are simple.]
Pia, highly intelligent and with 40 + years on the planet: Well, that is a tough question – better asked of a man. I would guess showing intelligence, drive, motivation, and support more so than physical beauty. But I have no clue. Still single, you know! [Pia’s answer is honest and a perfect example of why she has not yet found the man and relationship she wants. Don’t ask for a new car without learning how to drive!]
Tabitha, 40+ years on the planet: We worked hard to get him…so the hard work can’t stop after he is yours. Men don’t expect us to wake up beautiful, but they expect for us to go bed beautiful. So again….what you did to get him is what you should continue to do to keep him. How many times has your man or previous man complained you don’t talk to her like you used to? Or y’all don’t go out like you use to? You don’t cuddle like you use to…You don’t make love like you use to…you don’t smell like spring showers like you used to…you don’t wear nice clothes like you used…you don’t talk to me dirty like u use to…you’re not down for me like you use to be… Etc. All of this is hard work! But it has to remain in force…this is how I stay beautiful to my husband.
I am not afraid to show my husband that what he gets at home he can’t get anywhere else.
[That about says it in a nutshell.]
What is so surprising about being a relationship coach is the discovery that when you ask men and women legitimate relationship questions, the thoughts haven’t crossed their minds. The first class we all should have in college and even high school is Relationship 101! It is devastating when relationships go sour, and a lack of knowledge about communication can be to blame. You think you are right and he thinks he’s right, and you both end up being either a little right or a little wrong. And worse, you can be too proud to seek constructive advice.
So if you are wondering why you’re having trouble finding or keeping a man, I’ll tell you that it has little or nothing to do with your weight, appearance, or job.
Ladies, you simply cannot compete with thousands of beautiful women unless you have invested more into you inner selves. As I see beautiful woman after beautiful woman, I say to myself, it’s a never-ending stream! There’s another one, another one…will this insatiable curiosity ever simmer down? However, after I meet and get to know the woman I was so curious about, 9 times out of 10 she ends up of being as common as the 99 other women I met previously. So once again, I go fishing.
However, as I stop to think back on the many beautiful women I have dated, who were so very kind to share themselves and their time with me, one thing remains constant: after some time, you begin to grow used to her and the way she looks. Maybe she doesn’t seem as attractive as she was when you first met her. What happened? Perhaps it was because she put away all of her club clothes and short skirts in the closet for the winter and summer? Perhaps she stopped wearing makeup and maintaining her figure?
I do my best to always try to remember what a woman looked liked when I met her and wanted her. Too often, that is a very short line of thought because we slept with each other too quickly. (When to Have Sex with the Man You’re Dating?) However, it is those memories of that man wanting you, seeing you in outfit after outfit, wishing he could know you personally and sexually, that a man needs to grab on to in those tough relationship times. It is these memories that I try to hold onto, but frankly it is almost impossible, especially if you decided to put away all of your competitive clothing and vibe (you know, the “catch a man” stuff).
So as I sat thinking, searching my mind for how a woman can always remain attractive to her man, I realized that in spite of these erotic memories, the magic has less to do with your outfit and more to do with what type of person you are. Are you nice? Are you thoughtful? Are you giving, kind and considerate? Can you cook? Do you have your man’s back? (Understanding How To Show Yourself Approved-Standby the Man of Your Dreams) Ladies, it these hidden qualities that you can work to possess that make you super attractive and will have your man thinking you are the most beautiful woman who has walked the planet. These are also the things that other woman are less likely to be willing to invest in. If you are nice, kind, considerate, loving and forgiving, you will always be attractive to the MOYD (Learning the Art of Forgiveness is a Must to Attracting a Successful Relationship) Smile, and mean your smile, and use those five magic words: “You can do it, baby.” (The Five Magic Words the Man Your Dating Secretly Wants You to Say)(What Is The Most Lethal Weapon You Have to Attract and Keep the Man of Your Dreams?) Then you have already won 90% of the battle. Being special is something you are, not something you purchase.
How does a woman invest in herself to maintain that precious inner beauty?
You have to master what I call the big three: Education, Spirituality, and Food and Fitness.
You cannot grow if you are not educating yourself. You grow exponentially when you read, explore, travel and spend your time with like-minded people. (10 Dating Tips on How To Be Different from the Competition!) You will keep yourself fresh, current, and ahead of others. You and your fresh ideas and thinking will be the news; you will set the trends instead of following them. Men like to be informed, “Honey, did you know that new car you wanted is now at such and such dealership at an amazing discount with zero down and no interest for the first 24 months… You can do it baby!” … that’s a turn on, all day everyday…stay ahead of your man, always.
In my humble opinion, dating a woman who has no spirituality is a nightmare waiting to happen. Simply because she does not know or understand what forgiveness, or sacrificing for love, is. However, learning the “Art of Forgiveness” is a key ingredient to the secret to a long lasting relationship. Be sure to sign up at the end of this article and treat yourself to our bonus article “Secrets to a Long Lasting Relationship”.
Spirituality keeps you rooted in a perpetual evaluation one’s self. You are more aware and in tune with yourself as well as the environment, and you are not afraid to apologize for mistakes or to look into yourself to become a better person. You realize no man or woman is perfect, including you. This is a precious value because it will get you through hard times. I cannot even imagine how a person without it handles their problems. High divorce rates, unreasonable divorce settlements, and greed are all a result of the unconscious actions of those clearly out of touch with their spirituality.
Food and Fitness
You must maintain your health. No negotiation on this one. That means you must eat right and stay fit, not just for your man but for yourself. A clean temple is essential to clear thoughts and right decision making. (What Does it Mean Sexually When a Woman is Seen by a Man as Being Hysterical? ) The last thing any man wants is a crazy, unbalanced woman – and you don’t want to feel that way, either! When you are working out, you feel good about yourself because your brain releases endorphins, and trust me, your man is looking when you come home in those tight spandex workout pants: “Baby, you are looking good…come here!” Even if you think you need to shower first, we’re looking at you, wet hot and sweaty, and thinking, “I can’t taste it now.” (Isn’t this desire what you, too, desire? To be noticed and appreciated like the first time he met you?). Not to mention, your working hard to maintain your health and figure is inspiring and contagious. And there you are, hot and sweaty, staying hot for him… “You can do it baby” (Why Men Love Hot Vagina Juice in the Summer?)
If you do just these three things, you will be way ahead of the relationship red flags that often come with a loss of interest in long-term relationships. Like Tabitha said in her response above, “the hard work can’t stop after he is yours. What you did to get him is what you should continue to do to keep him.”