If Your Bed Could Talk, What Would It Say?




ByJared Kennedy of How To Get The Man Of Your Dreams

“Girl, we had a good time last night with Fred, and the night before, with Johnny, was even better.”

Would it speak in different languages? Would it speak in tongues, because you have slept with every man under the sun? What would it say to the unsuspecting Man of Your Dreams (MOYD)? Would it say something you don’t want him to hear? “Hey buddy, are you sure you want to have sex with her? She was just with Bob last night. The sheets have not even been changed!”

Would you be like “no, no, no, don’t you dare say that?” Would you allow your bed to say whatever if pleases? “Mirror, mirror on the wall; who is the fairest of them all?” If you are in fear of what your bed might say if it could talk, then you might want to reevaluate your relationship goals.

“Girl, last night, Dave was too heavy. You were bouncing up and down like two kids in a candy store. Now my springs hurt. Can you just pick one man, preferably one who is not over 300 pounds, which is my max carrying weight?”

I know what you’re thinking: Nobody wants their bed to talk; nobody wants anyone to know what’s going on between those sheets, even if it’s you alone (even Mr. Pocket Rocket is a secret). Isn’t that interesting? What are you doing in your bed that is so secretive? Like no one else on Earth has done it? As if you have made the best discovery since Columbus found the (already discovered) New World?

Don’t let that conservative mindset keep you hiding in the closet. Be free. Let’s share our ideas, people. I know you are trying to protect your chastity, so you can de-virginize at your choosing. It’s fortunate that you can fake many things in life, including hair and boobs, but you cannot fake being sexually experienced or not. Trust me, any man with experience knows the difference. If you have too much experience, you’re out, and if you have too little, you’re a bore. If your bed could speak, would it say, “Honey you need some practice,” or, “You have had way too much fun; maybe it’s time to move up to king-size?”

Here’s a little secret. Once you get pregnant and have a baby, the cat’s out of the bag. Every man that had his doubts about whether you were sexually active now knows for sure. “I did not think Julie was the type of girl to have sex and get pregnant without being married. Wow!” Consequently, as a woman, you lose a layer of mystery as you move to the “she is definitely sexually active” category. In fact, men will expect more and more as opposed to less and less–another topic to be discussed in “How Do Single Men View Dating Women with Children?”

Imagine that all the people you have slept with were to appear in your bedroom. Do you think the Man of Your Dreams (MOYD) would still marry you, or would he be utterly disgusted and run out of the room? Would it be just you, your man and the candlelight, or would your bedroom be so crowded that there would be a line all the way around the corner and out into the hallway? You might think, “What about all the women who have been in his bed?” But this is not a match to see who can point fingers at whom. We are simply having a conversation about actions that could prevent you from reaching your ultimate goal. So let’s stay focused on those goals, such as finding and keeping the Man of Your Dreams. It doesn’t matter what he does. The only person you will ever be able to control is you.

What if, in the near future, a device were developed that could tell a man, just by scanning your bed, how many other men you have slept with? “Okay, Ben Hollins was here. He is 50 years old, lives at 55 West Strawberry Lane…” Would you change your sexual habits? And if so, why? Because you can no longer sneak around and get away with it? The fact is that even if the man does not know your sexual habits, you know, and the energy of that knowledge works against the outcome you desire. You are living a lie. Hmm, a little deep, huh?

In fact, the man never actually has to know your sexual habits. A man who finds his woman cheating was never looking in the first place. What we think we get away with, we never do. Even if you do not get caught physically, you are already spiritually bound. Next thing you know, you are having some dumb argument that makes absolutely no sense. Have you ever been in that situation? Does it ring a bell? It’s called karma, or the better-known “law of cause and effect.”

If you desire a relationship with the Man of Your Dreams, you have to prepare yourself physically and mentally to receive that blessing. But sincere change comes from within. What if your parents were to come over to get something out of your bedroom, and your bed was like, “Psst! Hey, I have something to tell you about your daughter’s sexual appetite. She is one busy girl. What did you teach her?”

What’s really funny about life is that we think that because we are doing an act behind closed doors, that it will never come to light. But that act, in some way, shape or form, always comes back to bite us, either through the next person we end up getting involved with or through our children. Believe me, the lesson is definitely waiting around the corner. There is no need to fear. Just be honest with yourself and others, and you will be fine. It’s only when we lie, trying to cover our tracks, that we find ourselves caught in the web spun by our own actions. Many ladies try to keep that wholesome image when they are really freaks in the bedroom. You are what you are, always.

What’s even funnier is that I believe that we are like a rewritable DVD. Our actions dictate our futures. God watches the intent of our actions, and when you sincerely give your best, you will not only be rewarded with the Man of Your Dreams, but the right people will be placed in your life to give you the best outcome. Every move depends on you. The decision is yours to make. Every event in life is spiritually recorded, so I was just wondering: If your bed could talk, would you allow it?